If you have found your way here, I welcome you.

I'm A.

This is my blog uniqueautistic.

This is my trauma healing blog.

This blog will contain 18+ and triggering content.

Through this blog, I will use different mediums such as mangas, and donghuas to work through my own trauma.

There will be spoilers as I talk about specifics from whichever medium I look at. If you want to avoid spoilers, then you shouldn't read what I write.

Do not proceed if you are sensitive to such content.

If you are struggling with trauma as I, I advise you to wait with reading this until you're ready to face your own trauma in your own time and in your safe environment.

What I write and what I talk about is unpleasant. I won't sugar coat it.

It isn't something you should read if you're in a bad place mentally.

What is the purpose of this?

I no longer want to be ashamed.

I no longer want to keep my experience to myself.

I no longer want to be ashamed of my own humanity and I no longer want human topics to be taboo for whatever reason, we HAVE to talk about our human condition.

We have to be able to be open about our joys and our troubles.

I don't care what society, culture, religion and what not says about it!

We need to acknowledge the thing that brings us all together as a species.

The thing we all share in common.

For so long, I was taught to be ashamed of the very thing that makes me me.

No more.

I don't care what anyone thinks.

I will no longer allow myself to be ashamed of the things that makes me human. To be ashamed of one's own humanity, is inhumane and unjustified.

For too long I let this disconnect with my humanity almost crush my will to live.

No longer.

I don't want others to go through that, no one deserves that! It's a pain worse than death and any torture I know of. Because when it's your own mind attempting to snuff out every single piece of will and hope to live, it's over.

When your circumstances feel like they're never improving, you can feel as if you're beyond saving and that the only way out seems to be death. When death feels like the least painful and only option left, that's an awful defeat.

I never got to that point but if I'd been alone a little longer, been pushed a little further and had absolutely no one else to turn to, I don't want to imagine what I would've done, how I would end myself without ever involving anyone else. Leaving behind nothing, not even a reason why.

If you can't relate, good! I'm not even joking, I'm very happy for you, truly!

No one should have to go through something like that ever! I mean it from the bottom of my heart; I envy you. I wish I didn't have to know how this felt and I wish I didn't have to go through it. But I did and my life wouldn't be what it is without it.

I'm still trying to accept that all my suffering made me learn to appreciate people and things more, that I could become a better human and understand people better.

For a long time, I couldn't share any of this with anyone.

Only now do I feel I'm ready. I'm no longer afraid.

Like Evy from V for Vendetta, I'm ready to stand in the rain and face my fears. I'm ready to go beyond my comfort zone to live my life to the fullest with all the beauty and joy I know it can give.

I'm not doing this for fame, glory or money. I'm not doing this for any form of recognition or validation.

I'm doing this only for myself and my healing process of accepting my own humanity unashamed, unfiltered and unafraid.

If you're not ready for that, this isn't a place for you.

If you can't relate, good, I hope you take the time to learn about yourself.

If you hate me, I'm sorry you feel that way.

Thank you all for taking the time to come to my domain for whatever reason it was. I hope something good came out of it.

This isn't a place for the faint hearted. It will include mentions of 18+, triggering content.

That's why the link to go forward is at the bottom of this page. This is deliberate to make sure no one accidentally stumbles upon something they shouldn't.

Please respect that and thank you for taking the time to read.

If you do decide to proceed, please do it at your on discretion.

If you decide not to read any of this and go on beyond this page, please don't tell me I didn't warn you.

Sincerely, A.